Oh man. I’ve failed.
It’s been a rough 6-8 weeks with a series of stressful events (house, leadership change at work, money..) forcing me back into my old habits of impulse shopping. I can stay away from the stores, and even outwit the pesky online flash sales, but David has found a new Goliath, and he goes by the name…Ebay.
It just hooks me! And even though I’ve been mad at Ebay before as a seller…as a buyer, bidding on Ebay when I know I’m not supposed to is like my own warped version of Russian Roulette. If I win, I have to buy it and get something I secretly want, if I lose, it’s ok, because I can still honor the challenge and look at myself in the mirror.
My sweet McD, for all his attempts at keeping accountable has allowed me to “bargain” with him. At first I bought a necklace ($50) which he then made me cancel and return. Then he caught me bidding on a new J. Crew shirt ($40) shortly after we closed on the house, and I said I should get a treat because closing on the house was crazy stressful, and so he agreed.
And then I wore it and got lots of compliments on it at work and then the high wore off. Blegh.
And then last week I bought two dresses ($20 and $60 respectively)and a pair of shoes off Ebay ($75). The shoes didn’t fit, I cancelled one dress, and the other I got to keep because it was $20 dollars and a damn good deal. But still, I’ve failed, and now I have to admit it to you guys while you stone me outside on the streets.
Stone away, because I fully intend to stay away from clothes for the remainder of the challenge. I’m still seeing the savings benefit of this, even though my emotions are getting put through the ringer. I remember how it felt when I used to binge shop, and instead of comforted I just feel wrung out.
I’m not opposed to shopping at all. I just want to do it when I don’t have a gazillion other financial priorities and can plan for it, rather than using it as a form of release. But just seeing how unexpected these past few weeks have been, and with the coming of Fall season and all of the beautiful cold-weather clothes to lust over, I need to get a better grip on my impulse to shop if I’m ever going to make it.
Why do you shop? How do you shop? Is it when you are stressed or happy? Calm? Or confused?