I’ll admit, I’ve been a big pinterest whore as of late. My two favorite boards? Home Decor and planning my future wedding. If I ever have one. Ha! Anyway, looking at all these images got me to thinking about the biggest icon of the day itself: that beautiful, pristine, snow-white dress. They have entire reality shows based on the decision around it, many do not think twice about spending more on this dress than they do on an entire year’s worth of clothing. As I imagine what kind of day it’ll be for me, I wonder what kind of wedding dress I will have.
I know I am the type of person who has to have what-I-want-when-I-want-it-and-nothing-else-will-do.
Then again, the more practical side of me feels weird, queasy sometimes even, when I watch these shows and think about the kind of money to spend on a dress I’d wear for an hour.
I love dressing up as much as the next gal. That love is only equaled by my absolute hatred of being uncomfortable. I also don’t photograph well when I am uncomfortable (just ask to see my 2012 headshot if you’d like proof!) I also know I am the type of girl who likes to kick up my feet, drink a little, and dance…so I’ll probably need to wear a second outfit for a reception party, making my time in the magic dress even shorter.
I wonder what would be so wrong with one of these simple, elegant dresses from my favorite retailer J.Crew
j.crew wedding dress. photo credit: http://imoverit.onsugar.com/tag/j-crew-wedding-dress
Then I think about how you’ll only have one wedding dress. And even if you have more than one wedding, you only get to wear white once. When will there ever be another opportunity to have something so magical and perfect? You can’t put a price on that, can you? I don’t know if I could spend even 1500 dollars on a gown. My god.
What do you think? When it comes to choosing a wedding gown, is it a time to splurge? Or a time for restraint?
Hi, my name is Lauren but I'm known to those nearest and dearest as L. Bee. After twenty-five years on the planet I have worked in a lot of industries, moved to many different cities, and made almost every money mistake you can make.Join me on my journey as I navigate my twenties and try not to pick my "money tree" bare.
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I had 2 wedding dresses and a reception dress. I had great intentions with the first dress I purchased – David’s Bridal and very simple and I ignored the fit in the sample assuming the dress would fit correctly in my size. Wrong. It’s for sale if you know anyone. The dress I wore was under 1k (with custom measurements) – I think it was worth it. Ken still tells me how much he loved my dress and how pretty it was and how pretty I looked.
I think all 3 dresses were around 1500, so I didn’t spend too much considering.
Actually your reception dress was my favorite!!!
I’m not married, but the thought of spending so much money on a dress almost makes me sick to my stomach. I know a lot of women feel otherwise and are happy to spend thousands on the dress (and I don’t judge) but I’d be perfectly happy with an inexpensive dress that fits well. My sister bought a vintage dress and it was gorgeous on her (and inexpensive).
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agreed!
I like this dress, simple and doesn’t look like $79.99! it is your big day and you want to feel special and fabulous but it doesn’t have to be super expensive. There are also secondhand wedding dresses, you can wear your mum’s dress, etc. I think I’d rather splurge on a dress I can wear a few times a year and go with a simpler option for the wedding… if there is one!
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I’d definitely spend 1000 on a ball gown to wear to black tie functions, but not on something I could wear once. J. Crew dresses are anywhere from 4-1600 dollars depending on what you get, but the picture is from a site that sells them second hand. Not bad, no?
I definitely don’t want to spend more than $1,000. I love clothes and dressing nice, but the thought of spending so much just doesn’t seem like a smart idea to me.
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Would definitely rather have a nice trip.
Such a pretty dress! I’m a wedding fanatic so I must admit that I will probably splurge (however I will save up before hand) so I don’t know if that counts.
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Like “splurge” do you mean 5000 dollars? 10,000?
One of my friends got married last year and she bought her wedding dress… online from one shop located in Singapore. Total cost dress+shipment to UK was less than 100$. She looked great. Simple, elegant and classic. But there is something else… she was wearing earings and one necklace. This jewelery was really very simple but quite big and expensive (I guess). And seriously, wedding dress was just a background to them. But she was looking amazing and very classy
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I could see spending lots of $$ on jewelry, as you probably would wear them again and again. I’m obsessed with jewelry!
I’m not judging anyone for their dress spending, but I spent $35 on a dress to wear when we eloped and it’s great. I still wear it occasionally, too. And every time I do it’s always such a nice reminder of our awesome wedding/marriage.
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Aww. You guys eloped? I didn’t know that!
Well, there might be middle ground options. My wife got her wedding dress from a place that sells used wedding dresses to raise money for cancer charities. She got a great deal on a beautiful dress and she got to help a good cause.
Multiple dresses appear to be a growing trend, I’ve seen them at more and more weddings in the last two years.
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Definitely agree the multiple dress trend is growing!
My wedding dress was around $400 and was everything I had ever dreamed of. I tried on some that were about $1000 but they just weren’t me with all the beading and whatnot. Mine had a pretty full skirt and that didn’t stop me from drinking and dancing the day away at my reception! I wanted to wear that thing for as long as possible! I’d say when the time comes just go with what’s right for you. If you think it’s silly to spend so much on a dress, you’re likely not going to be drawn to a $10,000 dress anyway. Me personally? I’m just not fancy enough for a $10,000 dress.
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I feel like a lot of girls in the 10,000 dollar dresses just look uncomfortable.
Yes, you should always think deeply about what you’re paying for and why you’re spending your money–especially big ticket items like colleges and weddings and homes, etc.
BUT YOU DON’T WIN A PRIZE FOR THE PRICE OF YOUR WEDDING.
You only paid $200 for dress, flowers, venue and rings? Good on ya.
You wanted to have a $50,000 blowout? Rock on with your bad self.
Who cares what you spend??? I get mad when people get into debt to pay for a wedding…but if you have the cash and want a big party with an exepensive gown, it’s probably the only occasion you’ll get to have that experience.
I freelanced to pay for an 80-person Southern garden party, bought a $1000 dress, and loved every minute. I’d pay for it all again–and get a cake topper, which I missed the first time around.
By the way, I say this all to say get whatever you want. Honest to God. If you want a big party for your wedding and want to have a nice dress, don’t fall victim to thinking you’re financially irresponsible for doing so. If you want to elope, don’t let the TV shows and your nosy friends make you believe you should have a big blowout.
I’m fearful that women will get sucked into having huge wedding and go into debt for the status, but I’m similarly fearful that women will get guilted into having tiny, inexpensive weddings because it’s the new humble-brag.
Know yourself, earn what you need to pay for it, and for God’s sake, get what you want.
Leah, I love how fired up you get on my blog all the time. It’s awesome.
I think you can go either way on this. There is a balance to be had and you don’t want to go crazy over it, but you want something nice. My wife spent a little more than what she wanted on hers, but in the end was very happy with it.
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When you know, you know I suppose!
I’m not talking about at $20 white dress from Target, but certainly not anywhere near these thousands spend on dresses. It’s a dress. A piece of fabric. Does this necessarily represent love? No. To each his own of course, but weddings in general are not a big deal to me. I’d trade any wedding at all to find a good man that I love. Seriously!
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I go back and forth-so many of my friends have been in the middle of wedding planning and say “we should have just eloped”. My parents had a courthouse wedding, so I definitely feel a bit of pressure to be the first one in my family to have a “real” wedding.
I think it’s ridiculous to pay thousands of dollars for a dress you’ll only wear once. My dress was $400, and it was exactly what I wanted – and most importantly I felt beautiful and comfortable in it. And, I think I’m going to try to sell it on eBay or at a consignment shop to recoup some of that money. I have wonderful memories and wonderful pictures – why do I need to have it sitting in the back of my closet for the rest of my life collecting dust? I saved my veil and hairpiece and several other wedding mementos to pass down to future children/grandchildren – what girl doesn’t want to pick out her own wedding dress??
When planning a wedding, I think it’s important to set a budget for your dress that you are comfortable with before you even start looking. Then, when you look, only look at dresses in your price range so you aren’t tempted to buy one outside of the budget.
You still owe me a piece on your wedding budget. Don’t think I forgot!
I didn’t forget… It’s on my never-ending to-do list
I will probably end up making my dress, but my wedding shoes is a WHOLE other story.. If i ever got married i would get them custom made by my design in italy.. they would most likely cost more then a house and i will glady pay for them because they will go down in history as the most fabulous shoes ever made… but then again i will never get married so….dreams will stay dreams!
I feel like there is at least a shotgun wedding or two in your near future, J.
I am fond of looking at different dresses over the internet. I just get fascinated with them. But I don’t think I can spend as much as $1500 for a wedding dress. That is just too much.
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Are you on pinterest? You NEED to get on it if you enjoy looking at dresses.
I’d marry the J. Crew girl in a second, (even if she is pretty damn bony) she looks lovely in that. …And with the $1,500 – $79.99 = $1420.01 savings we could easily extend our honeymoon in the tropics for an extra week. Sipping margaritas under the sun with your loved one for a *whole week* is (in my opinion) a much better use of cash than buying a piece of clothing you’ll wear for a *few hours*. We’re all geniuses here, so we know that most of our valuable and happy memories come from experiences, not things. Besides, the resort’s all-inclusive buffet, drinks, and deserts will hopefully put a little meat on dem bones.
BAHAHAHAH!!
I spent $100 on my wedding dress and it was gorgeous! I hate spending money on clothes anyways, and I was not about to drop serious dollars on a dress that I would only wear for a few hours. To each their own, I guess
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I still haven’t heard from anyone who spend an ungodly amount on their dress. Anyone out there?
Each marriage is a unique story, each wedding is a uniqe setting, and each wedding dress is unique to the bride. I never judge what the price tag is because that is the bride’s beautiful story.
But I also wonder how many brides forget about one that is already in their own childhood home – their mother’s or grandmothers. Styles tend to repeat themselves and the ones made pre-1980 certainly do stand the test of time. And the story is even more unique. At my parent’s 50th anniversay, as a gift I had mom’s dress professionally cleaned and pressed. My sister mooned over the dress and wished she had thought of wearing it rather than the cheapest one she could find at jc penny’s. I pointed out that mom’s dress with the 18″ waist wouldn’t work since my sister was knocked up at the time. Turned out my sister still remembers her left hook!
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That is quite a story!! Why didn’t you wear your moms dress?
For me, it’s wasted unless I can crop it at the knees and wear it as a normal white dress later.
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How many times do we really wear white as a culture though?
I would not spend thousands on a dress. Maybe $200 max…..I would spend more on the party of even better, the honeymoon
I just wanna take some pictures and go on a honeymoon. Is that so wrong? Can I pick and choose the parts of the wedding day that I like and just cut out the rest?
Uh…this is exactly what we’re doing!
Traditional mass and then a cookout on the beach
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What you spend on a wedding gown should really matter only to you and your future husband. I spent a few hundred on my wedding dress with not one regret. I have put it up for resale and recently got an offer on it. You will have people in the frugal wedding camp and other people in the Dynasty wedding camp. Decide how much you can afford to spend without going into debt and you’ll be able to enjoy your day no matter what.
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That’s awesome you were able to resell it. I’m not sure if I’d want to let mine go, no matter how much I paid for it!
I think the most important thing is that you feel beautiful and confident in whatever dress you buy – you’ll be looking at those photos for the rest of your life! I had a very simple dress that fit my attire-personality well. I looked online to find lower-cost designers I liked and then went to stores that carried those designers (and so were in the same price range). My dress was $550, which isn’t outrageous, but tailoring was another couple hundred and I hadn’t anticipated that expense being so high! On the other hand, I got my shoes from a Payless-type store and they were the most comfortable things ever – I still wear those shoes often. So I guess my point is that it doesn’t matter what you pay as long as you’re happy with your choices!
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I had one girl tell me to splurge on the photography and save everywhere else for the same reason-the photos will be what you look at and remember for the rest of your life! I also want to wear cowboy boots, and not new ones, the ones I already own, is that weird?
For $80, I like it although it depends how it looks on. Weddings are much more for the bride vs. the groom so whatever makes you happy within reason.
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Haha. Glad you know the rules of wedding planning
The Wedding Dress is just that a dress that comes in many styles,colours and prices. This is totally a personal decision and for my wife she chose wasted money but she looked stunning in her dress even though it wasn’t a current model but cheaper. Money well spent for her and she loved it, and really.. I married her not the dress and anything would have looked beautiful on her.
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Bawwwww. CBB you are always so sweet about your wife when you comment.
I never wanted a big elaborate wedding as I am shy and hate being the center of attention. I was also broke and living off credit cards when my husband and I decided to get married. We didn’t exchange rings, we got married at the courthouse and my dress (which wasn’t even absolutely necessary) was on sale for $25 at Burlington Coat Factory. How does getting married for $60 sound! I didn’t want a dress I’d wear just once so I got something that I can dye and wear to formal Navy events. Everyone is different though, you gotta go with what feels right to you!
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My parents also got married for under $60 and they have been married for almost 30 Years!
My wife got a dress similar in style to what you had, then she dyed it and wore it our first anniversary. I think you should do what your okay with money wise and you can always turn it into something eles.
Oh, I’m not married yet, just daydreaming
Thanks for stopping by!
I’m with you on this one… I’ve seen those wedding shows and am just gobsmacked at how much $$$$$ some of these women drop on a dress they’re going to wear for ONE day. I saw one who talked down her “dream” dress to the low, low budget price of $50K!!!! *faint* lol!!
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Yeah, the shows are ridiculous, but they go looking for people who have that kind of money to spend. My favorite is when the girl finds the dress that is WAY out of budget, cries, and then her mother/father/grandmother caves and buys her the more expensive dress.
I’m not planning to have an extremely fancy wedding, so a blinged-out dress would be out of place. And something with tulle is just not my style.
I will probably spend between $300 and $700 on the dress, partly because I would like silk and lace, and partly because I need for there to be enough fabric for alterations, as well as structure/support through the torso. Anything under $300 is unlikely to be silk and lace, and (at least this season) not substantial enough on top for me.
And while I will only be wearing my dress once, if I ever have children, their Christening gowns will be handmade from the fabric of my dress.
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I have never heard of anyone doing that before (turning a dress into a christening gown) and I am obsessed with the idea. Thanks for sharing!
he dress I wanted was only $250 but I couldn’t get it shipped to Canada in time for my wedding so I ended up buying an off-the-rack sale (my mom paid) 600.00 for a dress that was 2500 and I loved it. I was set on not spending more that $300 though and my mom insisted I had that dress and being an off the rack sale, she bought it for me…and I’m actually in the process of looking for a seamstress to make it into a gown for our daughters Christening!
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Sounds amazing! You’ll have to send me some pictures of your little bundle once it is finished!
Weddings in general are expensive, but a dress cost is just one part of the cost of your wedding day look.
I understand the ide behind splurging but I also think it’s important to have a budget. My budget was $1,000 and I found a beautiful dress that I loved and got it for $600, even though the original price was my whole budget.
My thought process when we worked out our wedding budget (we paid for our own wedding) was that I wanted a nice dress but there were other parts of the day that I didn’t want to suffer because I worked a super-expensive dress into the budget.
Thanks for commenting Rachel-I’m glad you were able to get your dress for a steal
If it was a dress I would wear more than once, I’m more likely to spend money on it. Something I’m only wearing one time? Less than $200 I’d think. I remember my mom told me she spent money on her wedding dress but cared so little about it when she was older that I was allowed to cut it up and make a costume out of it, 17 years later. So yeah, not going to waste my money that way.
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Haha. Your mom let you make a costume out of it? Sounds like you had a cool mom!
$80? Amazeballs. I think that most wedding dresses are obscenely overpriced. There’s also that part where they go “your wedding’s in 8 months and you don’t have a dress yet? you’re not going to be able to get one.” Ahem. if that is the case, there are SERIOUS supply chain management issues in that industry. We’re talking non custom dresses here.
This is timely (for me, i know it’s days late), as my spouse’s coworker messaged me this am to ask all about the ins and outs of the wedding dress thing, due to the insanity of the pricing/ordering business.
I love that J Crew dress! My boyfriend and I have decided we’ll probably elope if we do get married, and I want to wear an off-white cocktail length dress. I’m hoping to spend less than $100 on the dress, because I want to invest in a good DSLR. I’d rather have the memories captured!
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